Work: May 2005 Archives
I found out today that another person on my team is resigning.
There are a number of dimensions to being "satisfied at work". Basically, I see it as being either "the technology, "the mission", or "the team". If I were super-interested in what I was doing technically, then I could have a really great time of work, irrespective of whether-or-not the work mattered, or if I found working with my co-workers gratifying.
The reason why I have stayed at EDS this long has been mostly for "the team". The technology and mission components certainly exist, but I really like my co-workers: we're a tight-knit bunch, we stimulate each other intellectually, and balance each other out pretty well with our strengths and weaknesses. On the upside, this has made the work environment pretty great. On the downside, when people decide to leave, it because a bigger kick-in-the-pants than usual.
So, at this point, I'm pretty-much wondering when I'm going to have to pull the eject lever for myself. It's certainly shaping up to be an interesting summer, indeed.
-Andy.
Thinking about it, the best way for me to summarize how I'm feeling about EDS right now is that I have bipolar personality disorder about it. At one point last week, I was entirely jazzed about working there -- I have some ideas about bringing blogging and Wiki to the table, that I think could really revolutionize how the company communicates internally. I have been doing some work, giving presentations, trying to sell my ideas, and I'm at the point where I need to start some pilot projects in order to get some proof in the pudding. All of that is totally great.
But then I have days like today, which just make me feel like "fuck it, I want to quit". One of the members of our (small) team announced that he is moving on, and will be joining a different company in a few weeks. It really hurts because this person is someone that I have a deep respect for on the technical computer side of things (which isn't to say that he isn't a stand-up guy in other ways -- he is, but I'm all about the CompSci kung fu). We're certainly not going to be able to replace him -- even if we could hire externally (but we cannot, so the point is moot).
It has been fun, essentially being a startup within a big-giant-honking organization, but I'm not sure how much longer it is going to last. What has made everything worth it so far has been the team -- I have a lot of respect and admiration for my co-workers. Not only are they technically brilliant, but they're also a fun group of cats to hang out with. So, it really sucks to see the team slowly breaking apart. But, as the saying goes, "all good things must come to an end".
-Andy.
(Bonus Blog Entry: Really-loud music that I listened too after getting home today: track 13 off of Ænima, "Ænema". That, at least, made me feel a little better.)
Today was day one of a three day training course in ITIL, for me and my immediate co-workers.
Boring, boring, boring, boring-as-hell, boring!
Why so boring? Is it the quality of the training materials being used? No, they are okay (if uninspired). The instructor? While he probably won't win "instructor of the year", he is adequate, and hence not the problem. The real problem that I have is that I simply don't give a flying fig about change, incident, problem, and release management. And all of the associated processes, documentation, and rigid social structures that make all of it work.
And this isn't a shock -- I knew that I wasn't interested in this crap before taking this course. But I'm stuck with it, and I just have to slog through it.
What is interesting, however, is that after sitting in front of this material for eight full hours today, my mind was actually numb. When I got home from work, I had to blast "The Patient" on my stereo, and submit my body to a punish workout just to feel alive again.
Two more days of this is really going to hurt. Or turn me into a process-loving zombie. You know, whichever comes first.
-Andy.
