Andy's Blog

Postcard

Sara and I got a postcard from Mike today, that he sent from Japan. Click on each image for a larger version:

That Mike. He's a pretty swell friend.

-Andy.

Continuing

Once again, I find my self blogging at the airport. I'm sitting at the terminal for ATA flight 267, with non-stop service from Chicago/Midway to Mineta San Jose Airport. I've been home for a grand total of 7 days (it was last Tuesday that I arrived back in Chicago). It feels like I was home longer.

There some things that happened which I expected, and some that were unexpected. On the whole, I thought that the trip was going to be a harder, fraught with a lot more emotion. I'm not trying to downplay this whole thing, or say that the wake and the funeral were both total cake-walks, but what I am saying is that in my mind, as I prepared to come out here, I had things really built up to the point that I was dreading this whole thing. I think that part of that, has to do with for most of the weekend that preceeded this trip, I thought that Beth was going to be coming home, and that all of us were going to have to care for her until she passed. I knew that that was going to be really, really hard. Having her go while she was still in the hospital, with dad, was quite a bit easier, I think.

On the whole, I think that Beth's death is going to be one of the biggest harbingers of change that my family has seen in a long, long while. The last "big" change that I can think of is when we moved from New Jersey to Chicago. And this doesn't really even compare -- sure, there was a lot of churn and such before, during, and after the whole moving process. But at the end of the day, the jobs that we all had before the move, we more-or-less had afterwards. For my mom, though, this is no longer true. Her #1 job for the past 30 years has been to take care of her children, specifically Beth. Now that Beth is gone, my mom has to find something else to occupy herself. I heard via 3rd party that my mom said that this is like Beth "firing" her, but I prefer to think of this more like a layoff.

So, I think that the lions share of the dealing that is going to have to be done in the wake of Beth's passing isn't going to happen in the minutes, hours, or even days that immediately followed. It is going to happen months and weeks out, as my mom tries to start over again, and figure out what she is going to do now.

My dad doesn't have this problem, of course, because he's just going to go back to work, which he started doing again on Monday. And in a like vein, that's what I'm going to do too -- hence my flight back to California, so that I can go back to work tomorrow.

Because, as the old saying goes, "tomorrow is another day".

-Andy.

Ethereal on MacOS X

A few weeks ago, I decided to try and compile Ethereal on my mac. I got as far as getting glib-2.x built (which has a lot more funky dependencies than what I remember from the 1.2.x days), but got stuck on the gtk+-2.x build. Specifically, I got stuck trying to make a shared library version of libjpeg. The problem was that MacOS X isn't an ELF system, rather it is Mach-O. Thus, you don't get ".so" files for shared libraries, rather, you get ".dylib" files. And I had no idea what magic incantations that I needed to pass to GCC in order to get these little buggers to poop out.

Fast forward to today, and I noticed that my dad has a copy of O'Reilly's "MacOS X Panther for Unix Geeks" lying around (he bought that, and several other OS X books, in advance of getting his new PowerBook from work). Sniffing around in this book, I found the solution to my problem.

And what was the solution, pray tell? Well, to use the "-dynamiclib" flag on GCC, of course! I ended up running a command like this after compiling the jpeg source (based upon the ar command that the makefile issued in order to make the "libjpeg.a" file):

gcc -dynamiclib -install_name libjpeg.dylib -o libjpeg.dylib <jpeg object files>

And I'm happy to report, much compilation later, I have met with success:

-Andy.

I'm still a sucker for that cameraphone

I have found myself snapping a few pictures via my Sony-Ericsson T610 camera during my ongoing Chicago trip. Here are two from last Tuesday, my first day in town:

The first is a shot of part of the skyline, taken while driving northbound on Lake Shore Drive (no, i wasn't doing the driving this time). The second is from a random intersection that I was crossing on the way back from the restaurant.

And I snapped two more while walking Scout before the wake last Wednesday:

Popejoy? I'm sure that the guy (or gal) is a serious candidate, but aren't we scraping the bottom of the name barrel just a bit for our politicians these days? The second park photo is a shot of the pond, with some ducks swimming around in it. Notice all of that snow? It wasn't there on the Tuesday of my arrival, and it was gone by the subsequent Thursday. Welcome to the wacky Chicago near-spring.

-Andy.

Hail

Wow. Hail storms are pretty neat.

-Andy.

Wonderfalls

So far, I've only seen one episode of Fox's new comedy-drama, "Wonderfalls" (because only one episode has aired), but it was pretty great. And I think that everybody should watch it, and see what they think.

So, Fox is airing the pilot again, Thursday at 9/8:00 central. And the second episode is going air on Friday, also at 9/8:00 central.

So, check it out. Because Tim Minear says that it's great, and you can count on that guy, because he knows what's great.

-Andy.

post wake

The wake today, wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. There were some hard parts, to be sure (especially at the beginning), but mostly, it was just like any other family get-together. I have always felt that my family is "fairly functional", and so we're able to not only deal with the everyday hardships, but also the out-of-the-ordinary, special-case hardships as well. I think that today and tomorrow are going to lend more credence to my theory.

One thing that surprised me is how many people read the obituaries. A number of people showed up today who read about Beth's passing in the paper, and were compelled to come and show their support. I was pretty amazed by some of the people who came -- some who my family hasn't seen or talked to in many, many years.

Fermi Lab also represented, showing dad some good support.

So, all-in-all, I think that today went pretty well. It was long, to be sure, but good.

-Andy.

pre wake

My dad and I went to O'Hare this afternoon, and picked up my Aunt Bibi, who flew in from Kansas. This is my dad's Sister, and it seems like he's pretty glad that she's here.

Last night, the parents were waiting for us at Midway, and then whisked us off for a night out on the town. We went to Apple's showcase store on Michigan Ave. My dad was planning, of course, so that's how we ended up there. It didn't hurt that the Apple Store is open until 8:00 PM, while most other stores on Michigan Ave. close at 7. After that, we had a nice dinner at Lowry's. I think that my parents declared last night to be a "cry free zone", and one way to do that was to have activities, and to just talk about the good times.

I've gotta get going here, so I'll try and post again after the wake. I'm sure that I'll be in a much different mood...

-Andy.

Going home

As I write this, Sara and I are at Mineta San Jose airport, waiting to board my 12:07 flight to Chicago Midway. Beth passed away early yesterday, so Sara and I definitely need to go home.

My parents are both taking a lot of comfort in the fact that we are coming home, I think. At least, every e-mail that I've gotten from my dad since Saturday has had the phrase "I'm glad you're coming home" in it. So, that will be good.

This is going to be a pretty hard trip, though, all things considered. I'm certainly not relishing the next several weeks.

On the plus side, I'd like to thank everyone who has expressed their sympathy for me and my family. To everyone who has e-mailed me, called me, or visited -- thanks. Also, work have been champs. I went in on Monday morning and told my boss and his boss. Their response: "1. go home; 2. take as long as you need; 3. don't worry about anything"

I just saw a woman at the gate, who not only had a little dog that she was taking on the plane, but she had a bumer sticker that said "Porn Kills Love". Goodbye California.

-Andy.

Not the post that I thought I'd ever have to make

It's the "end of the line" for Beth. After recovering well from her pneumonia last week, she took a turn for the worse towards the end of the week. Her fever returned, and her left lung started getting filled with mucus again.

At this point, the doctors say that medically, the only thing to do would be for Beth to get a tracheotomy, which would allow the mucus in her lungs to be drained at regular intervals. In addition, she would probably need a G-Tube , so that she could get food into her body.

So, to take that route, she would have a tube in her throat, and a tube in her stomach, and that would probably be the new "status quo" for her.

Consequently, my parents have made the decision not to go this route, and to let nature take its course with Beth. She has already lived far longer than an average Rett's girl lives, and up until this point, her quality of life hasn't been too bad. But if we kept her a live through artificial means, it would most likely be quite painful for her, which to but it bluntly, Isn't Good.

Her doctor thinks that by avoiding the tube route, she won't live longer than a month. My parents are going to bring her back home, and bring in some hospice care. So, at least she will be in her own, familiar surroundings. And it is our hope that she will experience little pain, and will have a peaceful time until the end.

I have made the decision to cancel my trip to Japan, and I will be going to work on Monday in order to negotiate some form of leave. I may work from Illinois, we'll see how it goes. I expect that I will be back in Illinois by the middle of next week, for a stay of indeterminate length.

-Andy.

Beth update (all over the map)

I got word from the homestead that Beth was moved out of the ICU this evening. That's pretty good news, because it means that she is getting better, and is on her way to getting back home. Apparently, some new antibiotic that the doctors put her on really gave those germs an ass-kicking today.

On a (slightly different) topic, Sara returned to the bay area yesterday. She was originally supposed to be gone for two weeks, but pushed things out for an additional week in order to help out with Beth. It's good that she is back, because we immediately kicked Kevin's ass in hearts (ohhh yeah!). And it also means I'm going to get to see a lot more movies -- we've already started talking up "Hellboy". And of course, "Jersey Girl" comes out while I'm in Japan....

And while I'm at it, I'm also currently under the spell of a band by the name of "Denali". I stumbled across them whilst trying to find Fall Out Boy's new video for Sara (which, of course, I eventually found: "Grand Theft Autumn"). I found the video to their single "Hold Your Breath" at a site called punkrockvids.com (look in the downloads section). Some more googling turned up a live show, that I downloaded and have been listening too incessantly (VLC is great for that).

So yeah, that irrepressible siren that is the iTunes Music Store is calling to me... If only I was convinced that locking my music up in the AAC format was a good idea...

-Andy.

Ignorance isn't bliss

So, I went and saw that new-fangled "The Passion of the Christ" with Mike and Kevin today. On the whole, I can't say that I really liked the movie. I mean, as a movie, it was pretty terrible -- the entertainment value was through the floor.

But, as a vehicle for inspiring thought, it fairs a little better. One "take away" that I have is that the whole thing is basically a treatise against ignorance. If Jesus' accusers had taken the time to do their due diligence, then they would have found that there was some evidence to support his claims, and that maybe killing him wasn't the smartest thing in the world to do. The Jewish rabble could have employed some independent thought instead of merely following their spiritual leaders, as well.

So basically, the whole movie is "up with science". And down with crucifixions -- those things look like they are kindof painful.

One weird thing, is that the theatre showed previews for several G-rated movies before the passion. Movies like "Two Brothers", "Home on the Range", and "Cody Banks 2". Clearly, somebody needs to do some better market research...

-Andy.

Stolen image

Since there was no photo today, I decided to do something illicit, and snap one of Kev, who is asleep in the chair across from me:

I don't know if it is discernable, but he is clutching his IBM-supplied laptop. Cute.

-Andy.

Sickness

So, I think I'm coming down with a cold. At this point, I don't think it's going to be one of those "Über Colds", from Germany, that you've all been hearing so much about. Rather, at this point, it feels just like enough of a cold to be annoying (like Urkel).

Now, who is really sick (since I'm on the subject) is my older sister Beth. She went into the hospital last week with a high fever (amongst other things), and she's still in the ICU as I write this. The good news is that the doctors & nurses at the hospital were able to stabilize her, and get her flu under control (that's right -- according to the doctors, this is just one crazy-bad case of the flu). But the bad news is that Beth is on a ventilator, because last week she was having problems breathing, and this week, her heart beats a little too fast when she is off of the ventilator.

Overall, though, she is expected to make a full recovery, and thus we should see a return to the status quo sometime this month. I don't think that she will be out of the hospital this week, but we're all pretty hopeful that she'll at least make it out of the ICU.

One really good thing is that Sara happened to be home when all of this went down. She's been a big champ, taking all of the night shifts at the hospital, leaving my mom free to get some sleep and be at the hospital during the day.

So, what was I pissing and moaning about before? Being sick? I guess I don't really have anything to complain about, eh?

-Andy.